Dear City and County Council Members,
For the purposes of this letter, I would like to you keep close in mind the onlineslangdictionary.com definition of the word member.
It is, as follows….Member. Noun. A Penis.
So I repeat…Dear City and County Council Members,
I hope I’m not interrupting your seemingly never ending quest to do nothing. I want you to know, that it’s very unlikely that anyone will know that you read this letter, so please, continue reading without the fear that you maybe mistaken for actually DOING SOMETHING. I realize that is a major phobia for you members of the city and county council, and I have great respect for that. So please, members, don’t shrivel, read on without fear.
I write you today because we want our Sonics back. Do to a highly impotent performance from many of you members…of the city and county council….4 years ago, the Sonics left our great city for some place called Oklahoma. The team was bought by a liar named Clay Bennett, who happens to be a member himself, of the Oklahoma University Board of Regents. Anyway, he stole our team, lied to our city, and rode off into the sunset as many of you members laid flaccidly to the side.
Well, now you have the chance to rage back into action. And while I realize that you hate that sort of thing, this maybe a deal too sweet to shake your head at. $300 million in private funding, no new taxes, and we can have a multi-sport palace that will bring the Sonics and the NHL back to Seattle.
So don’t go limp, don’t shrink under the pressure, don’t let the inaction of electoral dysfunction hold you back once again. Stand tall, erected officials…I mean elected officials. Put your hard hats on, and go to work for the city, the county, and the people of the Northwest. Because remember, it’s not the size of the member in the fight that matters….it’s the size of the fight in the member.
Don’t be Dicks! Bring back the Sonics.
Every Real Sonics Fan
Sports Question of the Day: If you could attend 3 sporting events in the world, what events would it be and who would be playing in them?